Are You Only Married to One Man?

The Bible is full of verses on men, women and marriage! From these verses we can see the fibers God has used to create us. We see that He made us both in His image and that together a man and woman can become one person, a whole. We can also see that God's plan for marriage is between just one man and just one woman.  As wives we should desire to know our husband's in the deepest possible way! Our OWN husbands. The one God made specifically for you! We are given the job of caring for, respecting and YES obeying our OWN husband.

Can I confess something here? When I was first married, first saved and full to the brim with our second son, God in His wisdom through His word showed me how badly I needed to know and respect my husband. After all he wasn't just "some guy" in a group of friends, and he was sensitive to the way I treated him. In order to be a better helper, lover and friend to my husband I read books! Lots of books! Although I was married to ONE man, I was reading what OTHER men wanted. I talked to scores of other women and asked them all about the things their husbands liked! What time does your husband like dinner? How often do you iron his clothes? Do you sign Christmas cards FOR him? Do you do the budget? It might seem harmless but over the course of a year or so, carefully studying other husband's, I was completely unqualified to be my own husband's helper.

My husband doesn't care about ironed clothes or dinner at a certain time, he does like fresh socks. My husband doesn't care if the house is a mess but he does want dinner...eventually.... and hot, even if it's just from a can! I was, in a sense, trying to be married to fifty different husband's and not one of them was mine! I also listened to the many sin issues these men dealt with and projected them onto my husband... this was extremely unhelpful as you can imagine. My heart goes out to women who have husbands that struggle with pornography or infidelity or over spending. My husband struggles with his sin, but it isn't any of these particular sins.

SO now what? Advice for young brides? Brides to be? Women who have just seen a bit of themselves in this blog? Here's a tip list from a woman who is STILL learning to love her husband well, after fifteen years.

• If you feel like something within your daily schedule is really important make sure it's actually important to your husband. That way if it doesn't happen, you can remember you're the only one disappointed. 
• Make sure you're praying for YOUR husband's sins. Ask your husband how you can pray for him.
• Ask your husband if you've ever embarrassed him in front of others. Remember his sensitive places and try not to be exposing. I do this with kids too. I want them to feel safe.
• Ask your husband how he feels loved, respected and cared for. It might not be in the ways you think!
• If you have children, teach them that you do things Daddy's way. We love planning meals, games, invites and activities that daddy will love! It teaches children to serve.

I feel like I need to add that this OBVIOUSLY doesn'tapply to a woman OR man in an abusive relationship. Please seek out the help of a trusted friend, counselor or pastor.  If they don't listen, keep asking for help. This blog assumes you are in a healthy Christian marriage.
1 Corinthians 7:2
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” - Ephesians 5:33

Genesis 1:27

  So God created man in his own image,

in the image of God he created him;

male and female he created them.

Exodus 20:17

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.

Romans 12:10: “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."Yes 

Ephesians 5:21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

"To be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” - Titus 2:5